September 28, 2023
A guide on how to love someone whose love language is physical touch, with practical tips, simple acts of physical connection, and advice for non-touch partners.


In his book, “The Five Love Languages,” Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five ways people express and experience love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. For some individuals, physical touch is the primary love language. It’s a way of communicating and receiving affection that transcends words and actions.

It’s crucial to understand and recognize our partners’ love languages if we want to build strong, healthy relationships.

Understanding Physical Touch as a Love Language

Physical touch as a love language is not necessarily about sex. Instead, it’s about using physical contact to create closeness and connection with a partner. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or even a playful pat on the back can speak volumes to someone whose love language is physical touch. It is important to recognize that physical touch is a significant part of your partner’s expression of love.

It can be challenging to be in a relationship with someone whose love language is physical touch, especially if your own love language is different. You may perceive your partner’s need for touch as clingy or overwhelming. It’s essential to remember that their need for physical touch is just as valid and important as your need for words of affirmation or quality time.

Practical Ways to Communicate Physical Touch

If physical touch is not your primary love language, it may take some effort to learn how to express it in ways that are meaningful to your partner. Here are some examples:

  • Hold hands while walking together
  • Cuddle on the couch while watching a movie
  • Kiss and hug your partner when greeting them or saying goodbye
  • Touch their arm or leg while having a conversation
  • Give them a massage or foot rub

It’s important to remember that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical touch. Be sure to talk to your partner regularly and gauge their comfort level with physical touch. Set boundaries if necessary, and respect your partner’s limits.

Simple Acts of Physical Connection

Small gestures of physical touch can make a tremendous difference in creating a sense of connection and closeness in a relationship. Here are a few examples of how to incorporate physical touch into everyday activities:

  • Hold hands while grocery shopping or running errands
  • Put your arm around your partner while sitting on a park bench
  • Playfully push your partner’s hair out of their face
  • Surprise your partner with a candlelit bath and give them a massage

Physical touch doesn’t have to be grand gestures. Instead, it can be the little things that make your partner feel seen and loved.

Tips for Non-Touch Partners

If physical touch is not your primary love language, it may take some time to get used to expressing it frequently. Here are a few tips:

  • Start small. You don’t have to jump into a full-on hug or cuddle session. Instead, try holding hands or putting your arm around your partner for a few seconds.
  • Make a conscious effort to incorporate physical touch into your everyday lives, even if it may feel unnatural at first.
  • Communicate openly with your partner about your comfort level and ask them to do the same. Respect each other’s boundaries.
  • Remember that physical touch is one of the many ways to express love, so don’t feel pressured to do it if it doesn’t feel authentic to you. Nevertheless, it is important to make an effort to understand your partner’s love language.


Relationships require effort, patience, and communication. Understanding and recognizing our partner’s love language is a crucial aspect of any relationship. Remember that physical touch is an essential part of how some people express love and affection. It may take some effort and adjustment if it’s not your primary love language, but incorporating physical touch frequently will strengthen your bond and make your special someone feel loved, seen, and appreciated.

Take the time to understand your partner’s love language and make an effort to incorporate it into your relationship. Doing so will deepen your connection and strengthen your relationship.

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